Top Ten...

Things to do over Christmas Vacation:

1.  Hang out with friends and family
2.  Finally go through that "junk drawer" in your kitchen
3.  Sleep without waking up to an alarm clock
4.  Watch ALL of the movies/tv shows/documentaries on your "Watch Instantly" Netflix Queue
5.  Shop for last-minute gifts
6.  Launder and match all of your socks so that no mismatched sock is left behind
7.  Call your grandparents
8.  Learn all the words to "The 12 Days of Christmas" and make up corresponding choreography
9.  Plan your second semester (if you teach)
10. Be thankful for the little things

Semester One Done!

I can't believe half of the school year is over!  Funny things, courtesy of high school-ers:

When threatening to keep them after class, K and C replied, "Staying after school with you would be a TREAT!  That's not a punishment!"  They really charmed their way out of that one.

"You've got, like...dust on your pants."  Z pointing to the lint on my black pants.  I don't regularly roll around in dust, so I'm pretty sure that wasn't it.

"I heard if you touch a girl behind her knees, she'll get pregnant."  - C  YES!  Please keep thinking like that.

"If you keep acting up like that, Ms. Black, you're gonna end up on the couch tonight."  -G  Totally innappropriate but so funny at the time.

Top Ten...

Christmas Albums (and some of you are going to judge me soooo harshly for these!):

1.  Hanson
2.  Clay Aiken
3.  New Kids on the Block
4.  Christina Aguilera
5.  The Carpenters
6.  The Fab Four (if you're a Beatles fan, you HAVE to check them out)
7.  Elvis Presley
8.  NSYNC
9.  Mariah Carey (the first one)
10.  Elf Soundtrack

It's Almost Christmas Break...

And the students (and teachers) are getting squirrely!  Some funny lines, courtesy of my students:

When discussing connotation and denotation of certain phrases, A said, "'Old Maid' sounds like an old, unhappy woman.  'Maiden Lady' sounds like a young....ambitious woman."  It may not sound funny, but it was a BIG deal for this guy to use the word "ambitious."

"Quick!  How do you make a girl fall in love with you in ten minutes?"  - B  "You would probably have to drug her." - Me  "Quick!  Where can I get some drugs?"  - B

Before I took away his phone away, I asked H what he was doing.  He responded, "I'm texting my friend telling him how great your class is."  It was a great attempt at not getting his phone taken away, but it didn't work. 

C is known for chronic tardiness.  When he showed up on time yesterday, I wondered why.  He stated, "I didn't walk my girlfriend to class because she's mad at me."  I asked, "Why is she mad at you?"  He responded, "Because I threatened to put her in a trash can."

That's all I have for now.  Happy Friday.

Top Ten...

Christmas Movies (not in any particular order):

1.  Elf
2.  A Christmas Story
3.  Prancer
4.  Scrooged
5.  The Santa Clause
6.  National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation
7.  Miracle on 34th Street
8.  Home Alone 2
9.  The Santa Clause 2 (Two Words: Molly Shannon)
10. How the Grinch Stole Christmas

Holiday Party

I'm going to a Holiday Party this weekend.  I won't be wearing this:

That being said, here are a few funny things high schoolers have said recently: (WARNING: Female anatomy is referenced).

"I'm so thirsty!  I'm DYING!" -K. To which I responded: "Can I come to your funeral?"  She didn't think it was funny.

"You're probably SO hungover from Thanksgiving."  -T.  First of all, I didn't drink any alcohol on Thanksgiving or any days around it.  Second of all, I would never have said something like this to my teachers!

"Are you a ticket?  Cause you've got 'fine' written all over you." - W

My mom had post-hysterectomy surgery.  Since she is my classroom aide in the afternoons, the students asked why she was gone.  I told them it was a female-related surgery, to which C asked, "Did she have her vagina removed?"  

"Aw, man!  I spelled your last name wrong." -F.  Really?  My last name is the name of a very common color.  Really?  Who's your English teacher?  Oh...that's right...it's me.