Adventures in Substitute Teaching

I was working in a third grade classroom from the beginning of this school year (September) until last week.  Due to the original teacher returning from maternity leave (I was on temporary contract), I have the pleasure (?) of substitute teaching for the remaining months of the school year.

Today - Middle School, Grade 8

• I walk into the girls' bathroom, where there is a sign that reads "Consequences for Making Bomb Threats."
• No student, in the entire school, may leave a class at any time, for any reason, unless accompanied by an adult.
• A young woman accused me of stealing her folder from her.  She was serious.
• After another young woman colored on the desk, I gave her a one minute time frame to clean it up.  Because she waited until the last 15 seconds, I held the entire class in until this particular young woman cleaned up her mess.  To her peers she said, "If ya'll late, it aint my fault.  It's on HER."  And looked straight at me.
• One young man refused to read when I called on him, yet he couldn't keep his mouth shut any other time.  I asked him what type of occupation he was hoping to get when he was older, as being asked to do something we don't necessarily like is "part of the job."  Another young man yelled out, "This teacher doesn't know what she's doing!  We're supposed to be talking about Social Studies and she's talking about jobs!"  I kicked him out.
• Almost every class has a "prison guard," someone who stands on the outskirts of class to yell at students who are misbehaving.  They have to pay an extra adult to babysit, as the kids have apparently gotten so out of hand that the teachers cannot go it alone.

Not every substitute job will be like this...I hope.  I sure miss my third graders.