Live From The Classroom

I'm sitting here in my classroom during lunch and have some fresh lines from high schoolers:

- "I wrote you a heart-wrenching email.  You need to read it so it will make you cry." - J

- "Do you like spicy foods?  No?  Then you wouldn't like me." - W

- K: "Ms. Black?  Can you come here?"
Me: "No, but you can come here." 
K: "No, I can't because I have a hole in my butt." (Referring to the hole in her jeans).

- "All of you were probably born in hospitals.  But me?  I was born in a red house.  A home birth!  That's why I turned out the way I did." - A (And this is not a good thing).

- Because A (a male student) insulted T (also a male student), I told A to say two nice things about T in front of the whole class.  His response: "T, I like your hat...and...your freckles are cute!" 

- E: "S, how much did you run in that race?" 
S: "13 miles."
E: "Wow.  That would be impressive, but 13 miles is my warm up."