Is It Graduation Time Yet?

We were reading A Midsummer Night's Dream and there's a character named Puck in the play.  E said "Puck put poisonous potion on people's pupils.  Hey!  That's alliteration!  Instead of 'Busta Rhymes' I'm 'Busta Alliteration.'"

"My mom said you look like a nice teacher.  I told her that she should catch you on a bad day.  You get so mad that you eat people's faces off." - A

One of my favorite students is a notorious trouble-maker at our school.  E is known for ditching, theft, drugs, defiance, etc.  He was in my class this morning and I said, "E, what are you going to do with your life after you graduate?"  He said, "Become a minister."

Bugs, Diseases, and Corn Dogs

We've been having a ton of cockroaches in our classrooms and rats outside in the planters.  Here are a few gems the students have given me regarding these rodents:

"You guys aren't providing a very safe place for us to get an education.  We're going to get diseases like hepatitis and scoliosis."  - N

A boy reached down and picked up a live cockroach.
Me: "Eeeww...don't pick that up!  Don't you know how many diseases and things cockroaches carry?!?"
J: "Like...20?"

Other miscellaneous quotes:

"You're moving to Wisconsin?  Do you realize what this news is doing to my heart?  What if I ask you to marry me, then will you stay?"  - D

"I cannot wait to go home and eat corn dogs!" - A

Walking up to a student who was playing with her camera during class:  Me - "What are you doing?  I certainly hope you're not messing with something."  T - "I'll tell you what - I'm definitely NOT playing with my camera."